chibi_oniyuri: (SPARKLE)
Chapter 590 spoilers, click at your own risk )

(I’ve been practicing so much self-restraint. Couldn’t keep myself from reading the chapter at work as soon as I saw it was out, but I did manage to nix any squeals before they came out of my mouth! Yes, this is an accomplishment.)
chibi_oniyuri: (ILU)
I had nothing better to do yesterday than go through the pictures saved to my computer. Went through my userpics file and was amazed at the collection I had.

So, I culled my favorite userpics from the selection I had loaded here, added my favorites that I had saved on file....Now, I have 20 of my favorite userpics loaded. I am most pleased with my current selection. Most pleased.

To make this post actually worth it, I should state something profound.

.

.

.

I hate Mondays. And I'm wearing the ugliest pair of black shoes I've ever had the displeasure of seeing, but they are probably the most comfortable pair I own, aside from the black slippers that feel like clouds. Honestly. And I've always been more of a comfort versus fashion kinda gal.

Also, so glad that the temps warming up. Last week, we existed in the teens to thirties, depending on which day of the week it was. This week, we get mid-fifties. Oh my god, thank you!!

Assassin's Creed is eating my brain. I think I posted that last time, but I thought I'd restate it, as it still applies. Fanfics, gaming, fanart....

Can't wait for One Piece to get back on a regular schedule. Am still tingling from the awesomeness of the last chapter, and that was how many weeks ago now?

School starts back up next week. Tuesday, to be exact. Can't decide whether I'm excited or not. Oddly enough, it concerns the same point. It's my last semester! Holy shit, it's my last semester!

Also, this time a year from now, I'll most likely be moved out of my parent's house. Heck, half a year from now. This prospect terrifies me. Utterly. I'm paranoid, jump at the tiniest of sounds even when in the house with others. Imagine how much that'll be magnified when I'm all alone in my own residence....Oh jeez, freaking out already. Need to stop that XD

Christmas was good. Gave my dad a jersey of his favorite player. The two hours and three shops visited and crowd fighting was worth it for his reaction. Mom got a blue topaz necklace from me. Brother got The Zombie Survival Guide. In return, I got a guitar, two sets of pajamas, an exercise ball (and yes, I really did want that), the third season of Criminal Minds, a Barnes and Noble gift card (that, for the first time in years, will not be used on textbooks!!), and a new PS2 controller, as mine was spazzing out and randomly saying it wasn't connected to the PS.

Hmm....I think that's it.

(no subject)

Thursday, 7 January 2010 13:56
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
Muse bit me in my bum while I'm at work. Am secretly typing away in between answering the phones and working on my report. Am glad at times like these that I work on my own laptop that I tote back and forth to work.

It's for the Assassin's Creed universe. The game is eating my brain. For serious. I play it, I dream about it, I wait anxiously for updates for the stories I've found about it. Apparently I think about it when I should be working, and feel the need to write about it as well before I forget or lose the feelings involved in it. Serious stuff, indeed.

And here be a snippet of what I've worked on so far. Concrit, maybe? )

Drive in was fun this morning. Rain fell last night or in the midmorning, and then the arctic front hit and froze roads. The Parents are protective of us and made us stay home until the roads cleared up, so I didn't make it in to work until 10:30, three and a half hours after I usually do. Still, it's a quiet day, so there aren't that many problems with it. I only hope it doesn't repeat tomorrow.

Also, would like warmer weather now, please. We have a high of thirty Fahrenheit today. That sounds cold enough, and then you say negative one Celsius and it gets all the much colder. That's not factoring in wind chill. It's cold. I want my warmer winter weather back. ;_;

*headdesk*

Monday, 4 January 2010 11:42
chibi_oniyuri: (curses!)
I feel like crying. Seriously. Big, fat tears of despair.

Into a new fandom. Assassin's Creed, particularly. This game has consumed me since my brother got it for Christmas, and while I'm not too fond of the overarching plot, the individual ones are intriguing. Naturally, the only place I know of to get a decent amount of fiction to peruse is the pit.

Why? Why?! I want to poke out my eyes every time I see a summary about someone playing their Xbox and getting sucked into the game, or about the main characters being protected by original characters. These are master assassins, people, nearly legends in the assassin line, and I really doubt your rinky-dinky female whose family was murdered two weeks ago can really match the abilities of someone who has years or, in one case, a lifetime of experience. Seriously.
chibi_oniyuri: (op)
Chapter 569 spoilers here...ye be warned )

*goes off to search for epic one piece icons, since I just realized my gross negligence in obtaining some*
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
So, one thing I have mused on that is inconsequential.

When reading Harry Potter fanfiction (I know, I know, but there are some good ones...), I tend to focus on Hermione. Just because she's the character I most relate to, so I gravitate towards stories concerning her.

And, I'll admit, I am thoroughly obsessed with romance. So, naturally, I read Hermione pairing fics.

Now, I'll state this right out in the open. No matter how canon it is, I cannot support Ron/Hermione. I'm not one who believes that constant bickering, insults, and jealousy trips make for the best relationship.

Probably one of my favorite pairings is Harry/Hermione. They mesh a little better, in my opinion. Still, I'm not overly fond of the stuff I dig up on ff.net. Mostly, I feel that the authors try to make Harry the big, strong, conquering hero, with Hermione, his sweet, timid, damsel-in-distress, waiting for him back in the castle/flat, despite the fact that she was decently able to take care of herself prior to getting into a relationship with him.

Finally, contradicting my opinions of Ron/Hermione, I can read Draco/Hermione or Severus/Hermione. I even, dare-say-it, enjoy them. Maybe the stories that I choose to read with these pairings hold true to what I feel is Hermione's characterization. Maybe I just prefer the author's style. Maybe I like the image of her with a "bad boy". For whatever reason, I genuinely enjoy these.

All this to say...I don't know. Just...musings. Attempts to analyze why I like what I like. Attempting to distract myself from work, which I am currently at. Pick whichever reason, they're all equally valid.

Mary Sues

Thursday, 17 December 2009 12:28
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
A startling revelation at 1145PM last night: the main character from one of my favorite series bears a startling resemblance to a Mary Sue. Which I only realized after years away from the series.

Holy cow. The whole of my teenage years was a lie. ;.;
chibi_oniyuri: (slime)
Woke up this morning with a sore throat, what felt like a golf ball-sized lump of crud in my throat, and my nose stuffed up to kingdom come. Either a pretty quick cold, or allergies on crack.

On the chance it was allergies, took a Benadryl. Will definitely never do that again, as two hours after taking it, I was so drowsy and out of it that I needed to take a midafternoon nap, which is unusual for me. On the other hand, I could suddenly breathe and the crud reduced in size, so it may have been worth it. Tea took care of the sore throat temporarily.

Another point of suckitude today: needed to write a paper. Correction, need to write a paper. Spent most of the morning, as well as three hours yesterday, looking for a suitable article. Finally found it, sent it to the professor for approval at two, crashed for the aforementioned nap, and got up three hours later to find that she still hadn't approved it. A few texts later, I found out she never received an email from me....

Chalking it up to being drugged, I sent the email again, got approval almost instantly, and sat down to start the blasted paper.

Five hours later, I've written a grand total of four sentences, and the paper is due in seven hours. I seriously doubt I'm going to get this done. Either the cold or the Benadryl is making my head fuzzy. I can't concentrate on anything for longer than 5 minutes. I'm tired as I've ever been after pulling an all-nighter, and I haven't even started the bugger yet.

Does real life come with a reset button? I do not appreciate today, and I'd seriously like to do it over.



Also, the amount of times I've had to fix typos while typing this? Ridiculous. At least I can be glad I caught them before I posted.

(no subject)

Tuesday, 3 November 2009 07:48
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
It’s torture. Pure torture. In at work today instead of working from home. I work at a freight company that makes business and residential deliveries, for those of you who didn’t know. Happen to glance at one of the shipment slips we have, and I about wanted to cry.

Going to Toys R Us was a shipment from Square Enix, which my brother took delight in telling me contained figurines for both Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts.

Found the shipment out on the dock. It’s about 200 boxes.

;_;

Surely they won’t miss one box, right?



Right?!

(no subject)

Monday, 19 October 2009 18:03
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
You know those days where you just really need to devour one particular fandom, and you think you've covered every scrap of good fanfiction out there, several times over in fact, and you're desperate for something new? So desperate, in fact, that you click on that story with the summary that just screams, "I'll make you poke your eyes out!", even though you know you'll regret it?





I'm there. And I regret it.

(no subject)

Sunday, 18 October 2009 15:39
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
Sometimes, my mom scares me. Six seconds to go in the Vikings-Ravens game, and she says: "Don't worry, they'll pull it to the left."

A few minutes later, after a freezing timeout from the Vikings, the kicker pulls his kick to the left.

Creepy. CREEEEEEPPPYYYY, I say.

(no subject)

Monday, 5 October 2009 18:52
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
So, I'm going through my old emails in my inbox in an attempt to spring-clean (autumn-clean?) it out. Along the way, I found this gem that I wrote to myself back in May of '08.

Today, I was rating and finalizing bills for my company so they can be invoiced and we can get our money. Exciting fun that is. But it’s little gems like this that keep my day going.

“Oroville”.

And my first thought is, “Is that a village where they say ‘Oro’ all the time? A town of Kenshins?”


It still makes me crack up to this day.

(no subject)

Saturday, 3 October 2009 19:21
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
Free IQ Test
Free-IQTest.net - Free IQ Test
chibi_oniyuri: (hamster-chu)
AHAHAHA. I have a test in seven and a half hours. What am I doing? Playing Kingdom Hearts. Yes, I fail at life.

In other news, nearly beat Kingdom Hearts on normal level. Got the urge to start over (the reason why I have so many games sitting on my not-finished list), decided that normal was too easy a mode at the same time, and so started an expert new game. Leveled to 20 before leaving Destiny Islands (TOOK FOREVER, LET ME TELL YOU. SELPHIE, YOU AND YOUR TECH POINTS ARE A GODSEND AND A TORTURE ALL AT ONCE).

Cut for more gamer rambling )

And, in the last bit of news before I head for bed....

SAKJNAOINHAEHJNAEKLYN!!! HOLY COW!!! OP, you get more and more awesome every week! Is it bad to ask for the new chapter already?! >.>

(no subject)

Friday, 7 August 2009 21:33
chibi_oniyuri: (sai-hikaru)
Oh, fanfiction.net, sometimes you scare me. Or, you know, disgust me. 'Cuz reading about how someone picked up their "bowel of popcorn" from the counter, or how they "dropped their bowel in his lap" just...really, really grosses me out. Or amuses me. But mostly disgusts me.



In other news, I have another week of summer classes, and then the madness shall end. Whoever convinced me that working full-time and then going to two evening classes, and somehow managing to squeeze in transit time ('cuz class, work, and home are all over the freakin metroplex), homework time, and sleep time was completely doable is completely freaking insane deserves ants in the pants steered me onto the road to insanity is a big fat liar.

Sleep. Kingdom Hearts. My life. I shall return to you after next week is over. I promise.
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)


Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: WHITE: The Peace Keeper

0% Red, 26% Blue, 69% White and 6% Yellow!

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.


WHITE MOTIVE: PEACE


WHITE NEEDS: To feel good (inside), To be allowed their own space, To be respected, Tolerance.


WHITE WANTS: To withhold insecurities, Kindness, Independence, Contentment.


SUMMARY: Whites are motivated by peace. They will do almost anythign to avoid confrontation. They like to flow through life without hassle or discomfort. Feeling good is even more important to them then being good. Whites need kindness. They resent being scolded. They dislike harsh words. They open up instantly to people who are kind, but Whites recoil from those who are hostile. Whites prefer quiet strength. they enjoy thier quiet independence. This can often be perceived as bullheadedness. Whites like to keep a low profile. They like to be asked their opinions but they won't volunteer them. Whites are independent. Unlike Reds and Blues who want to control others, Whites seek only to avoid being controlled. They don't like to be pushed, and they can be fearsome when they finally "blow up." Whites are motivated by other peoples desires. They want suggestions however, not demands.




Take my other Test : Which Tarot Card Guide Are You?


http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/tarot-card-guide-test


Take The Color Code Test
at HelloQuizzy

Welcome home

Monday, 8 June 2009 15:35
chibi_oniyuri: (Default)
So glad to see you after such a long time. You left without a goodbye, never got in contact with me whatsoever, and just decide to waltz back into my life?

I could question you about where you've been for the past two and a half years.

I could point out that you could've come at a better time - say, when I wasn't studying for a test that comprises half of my final grade in psychiatric mental health nursing.

But I won't. Instead, I'll say....

Welcome home, muse. It's so good to see you.



XD And I see that you brought home a few pets as well....
chibi_oniyuri: (happy sai)

You are a Clueless Uke!

Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme


What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

Read more of the same here - an more in-depth look )



OK, so....It's been awhile. Actually, that's probably an understatement.

Nursing school is going well, so far. Just finished my second semester, and I'm taking advantage of my two weeks off to catch up on all the things I've missed this semester. Video games, here I come!

As an aside, my oma is in the country for a month, so good food and good times will be had. She's here because my brother is graduating from high school in two weeks. ;_; I feel so old, despite the fact that I'm only four and a half years older....

Anyhow, not sure how much family will be coming to see him walk the stage. I know my German aunt and uncle will not be able to bring their families, because the former is building a new house and has no money and the latter has been affected by the economy and...has no money. Sadly enough, we have tons of family up in Wisconsin as well, so you would think that, hey, distance is much closer, so we'll get tons of family from there!

Cut for old family drama and rambling musing )

And...uhh...what else?

New manga I've recently picked up: Fairy Tail, Vampire Knight, One Piece (ok, this one's not so new, I've been reading it since New Year's Eve, curses to [livejournal.com profile] pi90katana and [livejournal.com profile] whiteadelphi and all your talking about how awesome OP is)

New anime I'm watching: err....Skip Beat? One Piece has the same explanation as above.

Anyone else read or watch these and have any comments on them?

chibi_oniyuri: (sai_hikaru)
Huh. I suppose....


Your Social Dysfunction:
Schizotypal



You display social deficits and oddities of thinking. Your perception and communication are similar to those of a schizophrenic.





Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.


chibi_oniyuri: (sai-hikaru)
So, I haven't been on in a while. Updating with quizzes and memes doesn't count.

I'm in nursing school, as I mentioned a while ago in some post. It's really interesting and fun and...fulfilling, I suppose, is the word I'm looking for.

I'm doing well so far. I get irrationally worried about tests and evaluations and such, and I have one coming up this Thursday that is really causing some stress because, essentially, it will decide whether I pass this semester and move on or not. Not happy times.

It did force me to evaluate my views on myself though. My dad asked me what exactly it was that I was afraid of, when I started ranting and whining on his shoulder about the eval. I stated fear of failure so simply, and yet, when I think about it, it's profound.

I've stated before that I'm my own worst critic, but I never really thought about how deep down it goes. An example: Say, there's an exam worth 100 points. Other people in my class score 85 compared to my 95, but they can perform every skill to the same level that I can. Are they failures? My immediate response is 'no'. Flip the situation to where I have the 85 and they have the 95 and ask whether I am a failure. My immediate response is 'yes'. Some would say that it's because I'm comparing myself to the others and finding myself lacking, but that's not it. In this case, my goal would have been achieving a 90, since that's what I consider an acceptable grade, and the fact that I didn't would bring me down, and I would call myself a failure.

Now, take this and add in years of schooling. I'm aiming for a 98, and I get a 95. Crazily enough, I call myself a failure, despite the fact that it's a great grade. Add in the fact that I was always holding myself to impossible standards. Add in the fact that the first time I chose a university, I picked one that I believed I could fit in at, wound up getting lost in, and withdrew from after nearly two years of attendance. What do I slap on myself? 'Failure.' Actually, make that "FAILURE!!!", repeated ad nauseum. Add in the fact that, when I let my dad know about the decision, he ranted about wasted money and waxed disappointment that I was so fickle and spoiled and homesick. Can you imagine what I heard? "You're a failure, and I wish you weren't."

I've had years of conditioning myself this way. I fully, one-hundred percent believe that, no matter how much effort I put into something, I'll never truly master it, and someone will someday find out that I'm a big fraud, a failure at whatever I've attempted. Is it no wonder that I'm terrified about this evaluation that controls so much of my future? It really doesn't help that, rather than being a written test that is my forte, it's a hands-on, honest-to-goodness evaluation. My instructor is going to lurk in a corner and observe my interactions with the patient, is going to quiz me on every aspect of their medications, is going to critique me on every little thing I do wrong.

If it was just this assignment, I wouldn't feel so bad. It's 150 points out of a class worth 1000. Not so much that it hurts too badly if I do horribly. But, two weeks after is the summative evaluation, where the instructor critiques how we've improved throughout the semester. He's never really viewed me at any other time, so this is going to be his first impression of my skills. And, it's really important that I impress him, because this final evaluation is worth 500 points. It determines whether I pass or fail this class, and ultimately determines whether I continue on in nursing school or not.

Maybe I have some stress? It's possible. Anxiety? Probably. Panic? Whoo boy. Am I considering screaming and running for the hills? Better believe it. Do I really want to give up my dream? Definitely not, and so far that's the only thing that's pushing me onwards.

Perhaps this is a good thing. Perhaps, now that I've realized this, I can start erasing the damage I've done to myself. After this, I can say, "I'm not a failure," "I can do this," and "I do belong here." Say it enough times and I'll erase the groove that causes me so much self-doubt.

Of course, fail this and it'll reinforce everything I've ever told myself.

Ah-ha-ha....God, this is a never-ending circle. I'm going to cross my fingers and hope the first step to ending it happens this week.
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